


Aftermath

by spnfamily_alwayskeepfighting



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:05:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnfamily_alwayskeepfighting/pseuds/spnfamily_alwayskeepfighting
Summary: Sam finds Y/N kneeling before the grave of her daughter she lost thirteen years ago, the daughter he never knew she had.





	Aftermath

Sixteen years ago, two archangels started a war. Lucifer was set free from the cage and Michael fought to end him. Their battle caused mass destruction and millions of casualties, leaving the world in shambles. The people who did survive had no hope, until Sam and Dean Winchester walked in and saved the day.

Now that the apocalypse was over and you didn’t have to worry about instantaneous death if you stepped off base, you knew exactly where you needed to go. As you walked through the gateway of Woodland Cemetery, you thought back to last day you had been here exactly thirteen years ago.

It had been left untouched by Michael and his angels—they had no use for the dead. There was no dust or dirt, only lush, green grass and trees. Beautiful flowers popping up here and there. Once the war ended, everything was carefully tended to, leaving the cemetery as beautiful as it had been before the war.

Your eyes started to water as you walked to the cold grey stone, kneeling once you were right in front of it. You rested your forehead against the tombstone as you took a deep breath.

“Hi sweetheart…” you whispered. Three years into the war your baby girl had been murdered by Michael when you refused to stop fighting. You had promised her you would keep her safe and you failed her. She had been only five years old.

“I’m so sorry. I promised to keep you safe and I failed. I never...” You swallowed the cry that was threatening to escape. “I never meant for this to happen.”

You closed your eyes, breathing in the cold, crisp air. You let the tears fall, one by one, eventually turning into heavy sobs of grief.

It was the first time you let yourself mourn the loss of your little girl since the day the soil was upturned.

_It’s okay, mama,_ her small voice echoed in your mind; another first. More silent tears fell down your cheeks at the sounds of her sweet tone. You’d never hear it again.  

Your entire being ached as you sat in silence. You wanted nothing more than to hold her in your arms again. You wanted it to be yourself in that grave, not her.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you heard the sound of your boyfriend’s footsteps. The frozen snow and ice crunching under his boots.

“You okay, Y/N?” He his voice was gentle when he spoke.

You’d never told him you’d lost your daughter to the war. You never spoke of your family at all and he had accepted that. How could you? You didn’t know how to speak or even where to begin.

You never imagined he’d follow you to the cemetery. If he was there, it was certain he’d been watching you from afar to make sure you were alright.

You sat on the ground, turning so your body blocked the words etched into the stone from his view, then stared up at him with hurt-filled eyes. He knelt down in front of you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Do you want to talk about it, baby?” He asked tenderly, his hazel eyes full of concern.

“I-I don’t know how to talk about it,” your voice cracked. You bit your quivering lip as fresh tears welled in your eyes. “I’ve never talked about it before. I’ve never even said the words out loud…” You whispered.

“Come ‘ere.” Sam grabbed your arm gently to pull you to him.

“No!” You sobbed, pushing him away. “I can’t. I can’t.” You shook your head, trying to deny the words on the headstone behind you.

“You can’t what?” A hurt expression crossed his face when you pushed him away, which made your heart ache even more. You didn’t want to lose him too.

You scooted over, allowing Sam to read the words engraved in stone.

“May Y/L/N, 2000-2005…” Sam’s shock-ridden eyes drifted to you. “Your daughter?”

You took a deep breath before saying the words you’d been dreading to say aloud. Your voice was nearly inaudible as the words left your lips, “I lost her.”

His eyes softened with sympathy and he cleared his throat, hesitantly asking, “W-what happened?” His tone was soft. Gentle and caring.

You took a deep breath, shifting to read the headstone. Sam pulled you into his arms and this time you welcomed the warmth of his presence and support.

“She was two when the war started... I wanted to keep her safe, so I joined the resistance around ‘03.” You took his offered hand, accepting the strength he was trying to provide. “Michael came pretty soon after. He claimed if we stopped fighting he’d stop killing us. But we didn’t...s...so…” You gestured with your free hand, trying to find courage enough to finish your sentence.

“So he killed her,” Sam finished for you.

You nodded, swallowing hard. “He came while most of us were gone. May was at the daycare with all the other kids and when we came back…” You took a shaky breath as you fought back new tears and tightened your grip on his hand. “Let’s just say Michael left his mark. E-everyone was… It’s my fault for going. I should have been there to protect her.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He said quietly, using his free hand to comb his fingers through your hair in a comforting gesture. “But it’s not your fault. You did what you said you’d do. It’s not your fault that you weren’t there when it happened, you were trying to save the world.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” He kissed your cheek. “And I’m sorry I intruded. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

You maneuvered yourself to look him in the eyes. “I forgive you. I needed to talk about it, anyway. I’ve been holding that in for thirteen years.”

Sam smiled softly before pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

You bowed your head as a small smile crept onto your face. “She would have loved you.”

“What if we started a family?” Sam asked hesitantly, catching you off guard.

“What?” You said in surprise, the words not processing.

Your heart raced. There was no way he had just said what you thought he said.

“What if we started a family?” He repeated with confidence in his voice.

You chewed on your lip, trying to contain a smile. His words acted as a glue that you could feel trying to put the pieces of your shattered heart back together.

“Sam…” You breathed hitched and you lifted your head to gaze in his eyes. They were soft and gentle, the amount of love and care shining through made you feel warm inside.“I’d love that.”

He raised his hand, caressing your cheek softly and staring at you in happy disbelief. His grin widened as you leaned forward to peck a kiss onto the corner of his mouth.

After May’s death, you’d lost all hope. Now, here with Sam, it began to flourish. Saying the words, sharing your pain...cracking the darkness of your grief, releasing the pressure that had been knocking you down for years. In Sam’s eyes, you saw the opportunity to let go, the opportunity to start over...and for the first time, you didn't feel guilty for wanting to.


End file.
